So after drinking all afternoon at a friend's BBQ I stumbled out and on to Oxford Street to meet my dancing destiny. As tends to happen when I'm hammered I wound up being picked up by 6 gays and a drag queen who were headed to Ruby Rabbit. I'm regularly amazed on my "day afters" how frequently people pick up a relatively incoherent mess and take them with them to a place and this evening was no exception.
I hung around Ruby Rabbit for a couple drinks and a Gaga performance by the aforementioned drag queen. One of the perks of entering a place with a DQ is that you can often get a free pass on cover; consider them like an aggressive, loud VIP card that might end up scratching your eyes out.
In any case I eventually dragged myself out the door and after a quick slice of pizza strutted (stumbled) into ARQ ($15 cover btw - I think).
It's impressive but generally standard fair for gay clubs these days. Three levels with the basement lounge and typical main dance floor and upper crowsnest viewing level. Best feature is the thousands they've obviously poured into their lighting and sound systems. Unsurprisingly for Sydney the men were gorgeous, half shirtless and mostly all "medicated".
I always have challenges in these environments as a half naked drugged up stud is really just an emotional adolescent. They don't want to feign interest in case you shatter their world and destroy their buzz by not being interested yourself. They seem to think it's always best to look at everyone else like a troll and act like you've got the biggest cock this side of the Pacific. Personally I cannot operate this way - I'm a smiler (15 years of orthodontic work needs to pay for something and it's my WMD especially in countries like Australia where they tend to have shitty teeth). In any case I like to look people in the eye and make a connection but this is not without it's challenges in an environment like ARQ where everyone is so guarded out of fear of rejection.
Which brings us to ARQ's best feature: Trashbag Alley. Accessible by the back stairs it's where the crowds go to smoke, converse and purchase $30 breath mints (though I would advise saving your money for a more reputable erm..... mint dealer). Anyway, if you're trying to meet someone this is exactly where I'd do it. If you're confused on an opening line just ask for a light, smile and work it out from there.
Drinks were either $8 or $9 depending on who's serving you and those still may not be local prices (I need to work on my Aussie accent, currently it's still too pirate-y). The drinks are also weak and don't allow doubles which is practically a war crime in a gay bar but I suppose a wise business decision as an extra $3 or $4 for a double is a hell of lot less than coming back for another round of singles. A word to the wise: 1) drink A LOT before coming and 2) there's one bull dyke bartender and you should avoid her at all costs and definitely do not tip. I don't use the word cunt lightly but she's a nasty cunt. Full stop.
Oh and the music was adequate - good remixes, lots to shake your ass to, but nothing earth shattering for a gay club.
Will I go back? Naturally, but I have enough sense of my self and who I am to stay above the pretension and just be me. I'm a big believer in the idea that you catch more flies with honey and according to my phone I caught 4 flies, found my first Aussie snake in the bathroom (and boy was it a big one) and spent the next day in bed (we left at 9am) with a handsome, sweet boy who was great kisser. Success.
Ratings:
Men - 4.5/5 (statistically perfect as there's no such thing as a 5/5 room full of gay men)
Music - 3.5/5
Atmosphere - 3.5/5
Pretension - 5/5
Overall - 4/5
Photo credits: arqsydney.com.au
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